There are just times when I questioned my existence, my purpose of living and the reason why I am still alive.

I know clearly that I am surviving for my parents, for my loved ones and once, for the boy I love.

It is not because I do not have someone I can confined to, but rather I did not wish to be a burden to anyone. I am in no position to bring negativity to others, to make others feel helpless because they did not know how to comfort me after I told them things they wanted to know.

We are all struggling to find out who we really are. We force ourselves to put on a smile so others do not have to worry about us.

The feeling of discrimination and having the whole world against you. I don't like it. I will do anything to run away from it. I suck up to people, I blow a different horn, I follow trends, just so to be accepted by people, to gain likes and acknowledgements.

People told me I am a strong girl, I am a leader, I am confident. Am I? If that is the girl that everyone like and will accept, I will be that girl. I will put on a strong front, I will hide my fears.

My life is not mine. I do not live for myself. I am in debt. To my parents, to the people around me, to the world. This debt is limitless. My perseverance is limited.
OLDER | NEWER